The Best Disney Songs.

Wow. I just realized that I haven’t hit upon a goldmine of blog material! Disney! I mean, there’s so much to write about, timeless fairytale characters, how Simba means “lion” in Swahili (I mean really Disney, you couldn’t be more creative than that?), and how D.J. Tanner’s boyfriend is the voice of Aladdin. So much to write about I may just become an exclusive Disney blog. We’ll see; I’m not going to commit to anything quite yet. Anyway, what better place to start than songs which many of us could sing before we knew how to tie our shoes? Timeless classics whose lyrics will forever be engrained into our minds right between those of the Pokerap and the Oscar Meyer song; how can we forget?

The Ultimate Pokemon Lineup

So I’ve been gone for a week and a half and I can already feel your judgment being poured upon me. Sorry that I’ve left you checking each and every day, hoping and praying that I’ve posted something new only to make you feel as if your heart has been dropped into a bucket of boiling tears when you realize there is nothing new. I truly am sorry but it’s a thing called Spring Break and I celebrate such a holiday very seriously. But now I’m back and you can rejoice in the fact that there will in fact be a new post below this rambling.

So on top of all the judging I’m feeling from now posting for two weeks is the fact that the title of this post is “The Ultimate Pokemon Lineup”. Let me just tell you this you faux child of the 90’s: you are a poser who I’m pretty sure only faked their way through the decade of your childhood and you should be forced to take the place of Stoop Kid!

PDA

We’re all guilty of it at some time in our lives. We’re all guilty of making fun of it at some time in our lives. At its worst it’s like a bad car wreck: you want to look away but you can’t because it somehow affects your life directly. At its best it’s like a bad car wreck: you want to look away but you can’t because it somehow affects your life directly.

Ranking Little Debbie snack foods.

I remember the first Little Debbie product I ever ate. It was a Swiss Roll and it was as incredible as the heavenly, mountainous background on the box indicated. I’m not entirely sure how old I was. Maybe like five or six? My mom protected us from such heathen things as sugar and the “Rugrats” until about the age of seven, so any treats such as these were few and far between. Actually, she would buy Swiss Rolls or Oatmeal Crème Pies for herself and it was my job to find where she hid them. In twenty years I have found every hiding place in the house which she has used; whether she knows I’ve found them or not. I’ve even found a couple of places which
she forgot about (there’s a bag of eight year old lollipops in the old clothes hamper on the upper shelf of the laundry room).

iPod Bracketology

            With the beginning of March Madness only a few weeks away and the fact that "Eight embarrassing songs on my iPod..." was such a hit I thought I’d do a little tournament of my own. Everyone just loves making those fun little brackets. Only one bracket, because if you make multiple brackets and enter them into the same pool, such as ESPN’s, then your mancard is automatically revoked and you must stand on a pedestal in the middle of your town square with a sign reading “Bet-Hedger” hanging around your neck. Stand by your predictions folks!

Due to the fact I have like 300 artists in my iTunes library

Darkside Wig Wam

Well this one is a bit overdue but its time to answer the mystery behind the title of this blog. It’s actually pretty simple. I live on the Darkside of Radford. It’s named as such because there are very few streetlights. Hence, dark. Also Star Wars is awesome and everyone secretly would rather be a Sith Lord than a Jedi.

            Wig wam because my apartment is about the size of a Native American dwelling, or, wig wam. That’s all. Sorry if I disappoint but there is no life story to go along with the title. I would have had a regular post today trying to clean up Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em’s music’s lyrics but that was scrapped due to the fact that that is dern near impossibly.

Three things I didn’t do in my past and how they might have turned out.

We all have them. Those opportunities which we wished we had taken that we never did for some reason or another. We all dream about what might have been.  What might have happened if I got onto that alien spacecraft? What might have happened if I didn’t wash my first Kindle in the washing machine? What if I had turned left at that stop sign at 3:44 p.m. last Monday instead of right? I don’t know. It’s fun to think how our most seemingly insignificant decisions affect the rest of the world. For instance, because I ate a bagel with cream cheese this morning eventually the United States will be overrun by machine gun wielding cows and their